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It’s a commonly touted statistic: Christian couples divorce just as frequently as non Christian ones. To those who have personally witnessed the power of the Gospel — both in their own life and in their communities — this truism is puzzling and disheartening.
But there’s new hope. Shaunti Feldhahn and her husband Jeff have written and studied extensively on marriage. After eight years of digging, they discovered that the “fact” of 50% divorce rate is actually based on old statistical projections.
The truth is radically different. Only about thirty percent of marriages end in divorce, marital happiness is at eighty percent, and couples who regularly attend church have only a fifteen to twenty percent divorce rate.
Church Divorce Rate Way Lower Than Anyone Thought
by Paul Strang
CBN News
June 24, 2014
Is divorce really rampant among Christians?
It’s long been believed that half of America’s marriages end in divorce and the problem is just as bad in the Church as the rest of the country.
But when Harvard-trained researcher Shaunti Feldhahn tried to find the actual research to prove those points, she couldn’t. It started her on an eight-year odyssey to find the actual facts.
A Demoralizing Belief
The Atlanta-based researcher and author realized the widespread belief that marriage failure is as bad in the Church as the rest of the world demoralizes Christians and can even cause them to question their faith.
“For a pastor it means ‘all my work doesn’t mean very much,’ ” Feldhahn told CBN News. “For the average person in the congregation there’s this subtle feeling like, ‘If that’s true: if on something as important as marriage, doing what the Bible says doesn’t change anything, what does that mean about the Bible?'”
Virginia Pastor Daniel Floyd, with Fredericksburg’s Lifepoint Church, has seen how this can hurt people’s faith.
“Because a 50 percent divorce rate inside the church really just said the church makes no difference in your marriage,” Floyd explained. “And that’s quite an indictment of the church.”
Christian psychotherapist Angel Davis said the belief half of marriages fail can even give people permission to give up.
“When you have something like a statistic like 50 percent, it gives you the option,” she told CBN News. “It becomes an option in your mind.”
The Good News
In her book, The Good News About Marriage, Feldhahn lays out what she found during her eight years of investigating the complicated, complex divorce statistics.
First, the divorce rate is way below 50 percent and much lower for those who attend church.
Feldhahn estimates the overall divorce rate for the country is around 31 percent. The studies of people who regularly go to church all show a much lower divorce rate for them.
“Maybe 15 percent, maybe 20 percent for all marriages. First marriages, second marriages, third marriages,” Feldhahn explained.
Feldhahn cited one example where a pastor tracked 143 couples who he had married.
“It was 25, 27 years later. Less than 10 percent had been divorced,” she stated.
Feldhahn hopes these facts she’s uncovered become widespread.
“Pastors need to know this,” she said. “People need to be able to look around the average congregation and say, ‘You know what, most of these people will have strong and happy marriages for a lifetime. Doing what God says matters. This is a big deal to know.”
Lasting a Lifetime
So where do things go from here? For one, pastors and counselors can now say with assurance, marriage makes sense and is likely to last a lifetime.
For religious believers, if they’ll be attentive to practice their faith with their spouse, they can almost double their odds of avoiding divorce.
Therapist Davis said this could go a long way to erasing the doubt that Christianity makes no difference. “That there’s no power in it to transform. And that is just not true,” she insisted. “So those statistics I think could help a lot with that belief.”
Pastor Floyd believes it’ll be a major plus for the faith when this new knowledge gets around.
“If you have regular church attendance, then it’s going to make a difference in the longevity of your marriage,” he said. “I think that is incredible firepower, so to speak, for the local church, for the pastor.”
Divorce Proof Marriages
Feldhahn told CBN News she’s personally seen the power of this new information immediately pump up a congregation’s faith.
“You hear this gasp go through the congregation, and everybody starts applauding, and it’s like you can see hope coming back into their eyes,” she said.
Shaunti’s husband Jeff explained such hope can be crucial in helping a couple actually survive.
“Shaunti and I have had tough patches,” he admitted. “But we never once thought that we weren’t going to make it. We knew we were going to. So you work through the tough patches and you move on to the other side. And the other side is always good.”
Feldhahn stated people can make other choices to divorce-proof their marriage.
“People who decide not to live together before they get married, that has been proven to have a really good effect on the marriage,” she said as an example. “And so you might get down to the 5, 10 percent divorce odds.”
Now Feldhahn and others hope people will spread the word.
“To be able to get this information into other people’s hands quickly,” she said, “I really think we can change the paradigm from discouragement to hope.”
Rod is one of our nation’s leading minds. He’s smart, original, and very committed—a combination that one rarely finds.
Rod Martin and [former Howard Dean campaign manager] Joe Trippi are America’s two foremost experts on online politics.
Rod Martin is a Reaganite-Thatcherite conservative…[and] a man who has spent much of his life ministering to and working for the benefit of others. I know Rod as an advocate for freedom, a leader who understands the real changes we need in Washington, and who has the drive and ability to make those changes happen.
Rod Martin is the kind of dynamic leader who has the knowledge, ability and experience to lead us successfully into the 21st Century. His vision for America is compelling.
Rod Martin literally wrote the book on excellence. Humble yet brilliant, a man of love and compassion, with penetrating clarity he illuminates the world around us, and we are both stirred and enlightened.
Rod Martin is a born leader and an outstanding political mind. Anyone who takes him on is going to have a serious fight on their hands.
Rod Martin is a man of uncommon vision and character. Ever since I first worked alongside Rod in the early days of PayPal, I’ve been struck by his powerful vision for the future. Rod understands the intersection of technology, politics and culture in a way that few others do.
Rod Martin wears with uncommon grace an uncanny ability to link his vigorous faith to the practical challenges of both the business world and the political arena. Yet the respect he shows for others carries a warmth and modesty that are both too rare among those who are strong advocates of feisty positions.
America badly needs more leaders who really get the future. We need more Rod Martins.
Rod Martin is a modern day philosopher-statesman. He is a capitalist intellectual, a conservative iconoclast, a gentle adversary and a kind prophet. He inspires us towards a fresh national vision built upon the original founding principles.
Rod Martin is not only effective and efficient, but he is also perceptive, wise and gracious. He gets things done. He is a great friend and a great ally.
Rod is one of the sharpest, most gracious men I know, and one of the most gifted political thinkers today. His ability to analyze issues and communicate thoughtful insights on them have earned him the respect of people across the political spectrum.
I am proud to have been Rod Martin’s friend for a quarter century, and I can tell you that he is one of the finest men and most outstanding leaders in our church and in our country today. He has a knack for turning everything he touches to success.
Rod Martin is a cornucopian entrepreneur and eutropic thinker whose influence radiates through an array of companies, institutions, movements and churches. A renaissance American, he is also a prolific friend of freedom and faith around the globe.
If Rod Martin represents the next generation of leaders, America has nothing to worry about.
A leader and a servant, in public life and in private, Rod Martin strides at the top of his profession, and has nowhere to go but up. He is in the truest sense of the word ‘outstanding’.
Rod Martin is undoubtedly one of the most accomplished thought leaders today. He is a wonderful mentor, a humble role model, and a deep inspiration for the next generation of scientific innovators and entrepreneurs.
Rod’s achievements pale beside his character and his brilliance. He sees what others can’t. He leads when others won’t.
Rod Martin is one of America’s finest young minds.
